Struggles Behind The Faith

Where do I begin…

Picture2 Faith has gotten me to where I am today but that does not mean it has not been a struggle! I struggle DAILY but I have to continuously tell myself that “God brought me to it, he will bring me through it”.  Yes, if you look at me I am a strong mom who has it all together but deep inside it hurts.  It breaks my heart to see my daughter be in pain and unable to tell us why.  I see moms taking their little ones to the park to play or teaching them how to say MaMa.  I hear mom’s say they grow too fast or they wish they would slow down.  I long for the day I can take Talynn to the park and teach her how to use the slide or the day Talynn is able to say MaMa.  I want my child to grow and want her to be running around.  I pray those days will come but until then I continue to tell myself that God has a plan for Talynn and no matter if I can see it now or later it is a GREAT plan!

Just because I know God has a plan does not mean it is easy. Before we had Talynn, we talked about how we were going to teach her to play ball, Chad wanted to take her hunting, and the big dreams that any mother/father have.  However, once having her we realized that our big dreams needed to be based more on NEEDS not WANTS.  Talynn needs us to work with her holding her head, eating her food, rolling over, sitting up, etc. We now dream of the day Talynn eats table food, the day she walks, the day she says “Mama” or “Dada”.  We have learned that the wants are not what’s important.  We learned that regardless on how difficult it is she NEEDS us to be strong! We cannot dwell on what everyone else does with their child, we have to focus on ours.

Talynn brings us so much joy in our life.  Joy that most do not understand unless they have a child with special needs.  The joy of holding her head up for those seconds or blowing raspberries.  These things are often overlooked by the norm.  So regardless of what she can/cannot do, she is doing the absolute best she can and God has it all planned out.

Love, Mommy of BOS ❤

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